Deserves... not demands...

Last week, after music rehearsal for Sunday's Mass I mentioned that the Solemnity of Christ the King is my favorite day in the liturgical year besides the obvious Christmas and Easter. My fellow musicians asked me why and my initial response was because this is the day that we celebrate Christ as King, we give him the praise that he rightly deserves. After I made my theology need comment I walked out and continued to think about this.

After further reflection, I'm realizing why I really like this day, it's not all the pomp and circumstance that our Savior deserves, but I love it because he doesn't ask for it. When he emptied himself to come to earth from his throne in heaven, he didn't do it expecting praise and glory, but rather he did it out of love.
Maybe I like this day so much because I know it's a day where liturgically and musically we get to praise Christ for his kingship and we get to give him honor that he deserves.

But it doesn't end here.

Humility and Love

It’s been a rough few months where I have had to come to terms with all the change going on in my life. The life of a student that I have known for… oh I don’t know… the last 21 years, has come to an end and I have been thrown into the workplace. The independence I’ve know living away from home has dwindled because I now live with my parents again. My spiritual life has been changing and maturing. I have been changing and maturing as an adult and on my spiritual journey. And it all has to do with love.

Superheros and Spirituality

Maybe it's my obsession with fairy tales and theology, which leads me to see theology in any good versus evil story. After seeing The Dark Knight Rises and watching many Smallville episodes, I have also come to see theology in our famed superheros.

I wish I would have been the one to write this out, but since I haven't been writing much of anything lately I will just link to someone else's insights on the relationship between superheros and theology.

Click Me!!!!

Second Chances

I heard a new motto over the weekend: "live like your donor is watching."

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend the opening ceremonies for the Transplant Games of America. Never in my life have I experienced something both wonderfully joyful and full of life, and at the same time with an undertone of loss and sorrow. My brother sums it up pretty succinctly this tweet:

Let your light shine!!

“Know yourselves… He who knows himself knows God… He who knows himself knows all men… He who can love himself, loves all men…” St. Antony

This is a thought that has always spoken to me: Know yourself. It’s nothing new—in fact it’s not even specifically Christian, but it’s a universal truth. Antony, however, makes this claim extend beyond the individual and extends it into the communal. He hits on three points: know self, know God, know others. This is seemingly obvious, but what is less obvious is how all these things can be connect through self-knowledge. I would think that it is simultaneously an interior and exterior knowledge. But how? And what does that mean?

It might be obvious that self-knowledge comes through an interior examination; of course we need to look within ourselves to know ourselves. It requires that we dig deep and acknowledge what we like and confront what we don’t. There’s no skating over our flaws when it comes to knowing ourselves. We love the light, but acknowledge the darkness. This is something that Antony knew well—we are made in the image and likeness of light – of God-  yet because of sin we have traces of darkness—not an opaque darkness, more of a shadow, a dimming. St. Teresa of Avila explains that our soul is an interior castle made out of the purest and finest crystal and at the center of our souls is where God dwells. From this center, from God, beams the brightest light. Yet some people live in a way that light is dimmed, the soul is covered so God’s true light cannot radiate outward from within. And you know when something in your life is amiss. You have a feeling that something is not quite right. This is when self-discovery begins—what in our lives is causing this light to be covered? Are we happy? Is it our hobbies, our actions, our relationship God (lack thereof?), our relationship with others, our relationship with ourselves? By asking these questions and taking a good look at what’s going on interiorly, we can begin to pin down why we act, outwardly, the way we do.

Give Thanks

Yesterday I attended the funeral of an 18 year old young woman. I have to say I was shocked when I heard that she had passed as a result of injuries sustained in a car accident. I was even more confused as to why someone with such a bright future and such a loving family would be taken away from this earth so suddenly. I was confused, but my confusion no doubt could not compare to that of the family. However, the family amazed me. Yes, there was the confusion and sadness that always accompanies the death of a loved one, especially one so young, but what really struck me was the unwavering faith that this family clung to in this time of grief and sadness.

I was not the only who picked up this amazing example of faith. The celebrant of the funeral mass also picked up on it. In his homily he quoted his grandmother and the words she told him at a funeral he attended when he was young. She said, “Jimmy, thank God for your faith. Thank God for your family. Thank God for your friends.”

In those moments of grief or suffering it is sometimes hard to be thankful. This family was an example of genuine gratitude to all their family members, to their friends, and to the community who supported them in prayer and presence. But most of all they stood solid in their faith. In those moments when we think that we may never feel happy again or that the grief is just too much, we have to cling to our faith. It is our rock, our stronghold.

Be thankful for your faith, and the best way to do that is to turn every moment into a moment for prayer and thanksgiving. Even those moments when it’s hard to see exactly what it is to be thankful for. Give thanks for the fact that God never leaves you in those moments of suffering. Or give thanks to God that Jesus knows what it’s like to suffer and know that he feels your pain. Give thanks for the angels and saints who are more than willing to pray for you.

There’s plenty to be thankful for even in the bleakest of situations. Just remember: “Thank God for your faith. Thank God for your family. Thank God for your friends.”

Imago Dei

What is morality? Is it simply what is right and what is wrong or is it something deeper than that? There are those that argue it is simply the Natural Law of things. This natural law is a law that everyone can come to if they simply use their reason. So where does faith come into play? Well, when thinking in terms of right and wrong or morality, your faith is what informs you to make the decision you make.

Many people think that faith should be left out of politics and the political arena. I'm here to say that faith should never be left out of anything. Your faith should be the basis on everything you do, maybe you can leave the Biblical and faith-based language out of the political arena, but not faith. If someone doesn't think the Bible is true, are they going to find your statements correct because you quote the Bible? Probably not, luckily God equipped us with something to combat this disadvantage. Reason. We are made in the image and likeness of God and we have reason because God is reasonable. So reason your way through things!

Who knew saints were so cool?

I have a new preoccupation. However, I think I can get away with this one. I have become fascinated with the lives of the saints. I am trying to figure out how I have gone 24 years being raised Catholic and just now realizing how amazing the saints are. Seriously. I am not sure where this preoccupation came from, but I have an inkling.

I am going to go ahead and blame my comprehensive exams. I was able to work intimately with the works of St. Teresa of Avila (who is awesome) and Julian of Norwich (also awesome). It was from the extensive amount of time that I spent with these two holy women in their writings and in prayer that I came to know the importance of the saints. The lives of the saints are meant to be a beacon of hope for all of us that we might too live holy lives. They tell us that it’s possible. Holiness is possible for all of us if we only believe that God lift us to him.

I recently stumbled upon a quote from Blessed Chiara “Luce” Badano: I'll be a saint, if I am a saint now. At first glance that sounds like a tall order, but then you have to read her biography. Being a saint for her was living her life for the glory of God and allowing Jesus to be her guide. If there was ever a theme in the lives of the saints it is to let Jesus be your friend and guide. St. Teresa of Avila wrote about it, so did Julian of Norwich, Blessed Mother Teresa, and also Blessed Chiara.

I leave you with a prayer to our friend Jesus; may it be a step in the direction of sainthood.

Jesus! You are my true Friend, my only Friend.

You take a part in all my misfortunes;

You take them on Yourself;

You know how to change them into blessings;

You listen to me with the greatest kindness when I relate my troubles to You,

and You have always balm to pour on my wounds.

I find You at all times;

I find You everywhere,

You never go away:

if I have to change my dwelling,

I find You there wherever I go.

You are never weary of listening to me,

You are never tired of doing me good.

I am certain of being beloved by You,

if I love You; my goods are nothing to You,

and by bestowing Yours on me, You never grow poor;

however miserable I may be,

no one nobler or cleverer or even holier can come between You and me,

and deprive me of Your friendship;

and death, which tears us away from all other friends,

will unite me forever to You.

All the humiliations attached to old age,

or to the loss of honor,

will never detach You from me;

on the contrary, I shall never enjoy You more fully,

and You will never be closer to me

than when everything seems to conspire against me

to overwhelm me and to cast me down.

You bear with all my faults with extreme patience,

and even my want of fidelity and my ingratitude

do not wound You to such a degree

as to make You unwilling to receive me when I return to You.

O Jesus, grant that I may die praising You,

that I may die loving You,

that I may die for the love of you.

Amen.

~Saint Claude La Colombière

Thoughts on Hope

When I think of hope, I think of a quote from Julian of Norwich: “All shall be well, all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.” What I love about this quote is that it recognizes our current situation: we are living in an in-between time. We are caught between the kingdom of God on earth and the kingdom of God in heaven. The seeds of the kingdom of God have been sown in our souls, and we must work to bring about the kingdom in the here and now through our prayers and actions. Yet, we still look forward to the kingdom of God in heaven, we hope and desire for it.

Foster the kingdom of God in your souls through prayer. Let every moment be an opportunity for prayer: in cooking breakfast, in driving to work, your conversations, at your kids’ soccer practices. Prayer impacts action and our actions preach the gospel. Live out the kingdom of God in the hope that one day we will live in the kingdom of God.

What does it mean to be a friend of Jesus?

            It seems as though self-love has been a difficult concept to reconcile in the Christian tradition. If we love ourselves is that not a sign of pride and therefore sinful? Or what does it mean to love our neighbor as ourselves? It is a difficult concept to understand, but it is an important concept that builds upon the very foundation of what it means to be human. We also have this concept of friendship. What does it mean to be a friend of Jesus when we it is difficult to foster and nourish friendship in this world? What does it mean when Jesus says I no longer call you servants, but friends? Teresa of Avila and Julian of Norwich offer insight into these problems and help us to see what it means to be a friend of Jesus and how that in turn allows us to love ourselves in a humble and appropriate way. I will begin by explaining the meaning of friendship in Julian and Teresa and then move into a discussion on how this informs self-love.

            Each of these women sought to have Jesus as their friend. Julian describes in her revelations on divine love that she desired to be at the foot of the cross with Mary the mother of Jesus and the beloved disciple. To gaze upon the cross as a friend of the dying Christ, to take part in his suffering that she might know more fully the love of God. At first glance, this may seem as if she is asking for a harsh punishment; she seems to be wishing for her own suffering, which is not a part of human nature. In fact, as humans, we tend to avoid situations where suffering may occur because we always seek to survive. Yet, here is Julian asking for illness. It is important to also acknowledge that she also seeks contrition and a desire to know God. What does this mean? I think that for Julian to be a friend of Christ is to not fear suffering and contrition. It calls for us to embrace the Cross, not to fear it. Denys Turner explains that within Julian's writings there are these understanding of being in the in-betweens. Julian received her visions on her deathbed when she was hovering between life and death. Her focus is on the cross, which is the symbol of both death and life because it is on the Cross where Jesus died, yet because of that Cross he rose to new life and Christians in turn will also be raised to new life. Friendship with Christ is not a relationship that takes place simply when we are thankful for our blessings or when we are in the midst of our own suffering. True friendship with Christ is an all or nothing endeavor. He will be there for us no matter our situation, but what Julian shows, and I think this is important, especially in the current Lenten season, is that we cannot be friends to Christ only on Christmas and Easter, but we must be present in the life of Christ as much as possible, even at the lowest point, on the Cross. We must be like his mother and the beloved disciple and stand at the foot of the cross gazing with love.

            Teresa of Avila has a similar yet different understanding of friendship with Christ. Whereas Julian's idea of friendship comes from gazing upon the crucified Lord at the foot of the cross, Teresa sees this friendship as a relationship of companionship on the spiritual journey. She writes in the Way of Perfection that we are on a journey and what better friend to help us stay the course that Jesus himself. This friendship with Christ serves as the anchor for our earthly journey. Teresa was speaking specifically to her nuns in the monastery and their contemplative prayer life. It is easy to get caught up in the temptations of life, whether it be pride, anger, gossiping or other forms of cattiness that can take place within relationships between people living in close proximity to one another. Rowan Williams explains that Teresa often in her writings is warning her nuns to be aware of the temptations that arise in the world. Just because they live in a monastery does not mean that they are exempt from the trials of the world. In fact, they are more magnified because all humans share the same condition, and within the walls of the monastery the problems of the world exist in a microcosm. Teresa explains that to stay grounded in the friendship of Christ will help us to be better human beings. To practice contemplative prayer and stay grounded in the friendship of Christ helps us to align our minds, hearts, and wills with God. What better and truer friendship is there than to be of one will with your best friend? This is the goal of contemplative prayer. She makes this explicit in the Interior Castle. The final mansion is the room where God dwells. If we can make our way through the rooms and mansions that surround this inner-most room, then we will enter into God and we will cease to be independent of God. Our wills are transformed and conformed to his will. This seems like a tall task, but we are constantly reminded by Teresa that we are not alone on this journey. We have Christ there with every step of the way and in every room we enter. But what does this have to do with self-love?

            The simple answer is that we should love what God loves and God loves us. Yet this is dangerous because we live in a world where we constantly inflate ourselves to a degree that humility is no where to be found or on the opposite side of the spectrum, we find ourselves so unworthy of love that we cannot love ourselves. Neither of these options is how we should love ourselves. We are not called to loathe ourselves and we are not called to exalt ourselves. If we remain with our friend Jesus, we will find this balance of love and humility. We will learn to love ourselves not just for our own sake, but for God's sake. God loves us and when we enter into union with him in contemplative prayer as Teresa explains or as Julian describes, we stand at the foot of the cross and witness the death of our best friend in the ultimate act of love, we are reminded and embraced in the love of God for us. Our reaction should not be to turn away from this love and feel unworthy of it, nor should it be to boast that we are indeed loved by God, but rather, we should return love to God as much as we are able. We should love God and we should love ourselves because this is truly the gift that God has given us: that we are loved and that we can love.

            The teachings of Teresa of Avila and Julian of Norwich are important to our understanding of what it means to be a friend of Christ and of what it means to love ourselves and to be loved by God. Both of these writers are still relevant today because they speak to what we as human beings long for: self-acceptance and acceptance by others. We are relational beings. We are in relationship with God, with others, and with ourselves. In order to live to our fullest potential and to be as true to our humanness as possible, we must learn to love in every respect. Teresa and Julian help us to understand firstly, that this is possible, and secondly, how this is possible.

A little bit on contingency

"The LORD God formed man out of the clay of the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life, and so man became a living being" (Gen 2:7). There is no better place to start a discussion of contingency than with the beginning where it is apparent that humanity did not spring up on its own. Genesis 2:7 is a powerful introduction to this topic because here we see that humanity is nothing but inanimate clay without the sustenance that God provides. To begin, we see that God formed humanity out of clay. This is portrayal of God as a potter is a striking image because we can instantly related to the beautiful creations that potters have made throughout the centuries. For those with a background in pottery or those that have a working knowledge of the time and skill it takes to create something on the potter's wheel, this image takes on even more meaning. The potter does not haphazardly throw some clay on the wheel and then spin it a few times, no, the potter must take great care to work the clay, shape the clay so there are no weak spots, and use a light touch because the wrong pressure could make the clay revert back to a pile of clay. In the first part of this line we can infer, using the image of the potter, that God took care in form humans out of clay. These clay creations are then not left as inanimate objects for God to play house with. Instead, he animates them with his breath, the breath of life. This is the animating factor for humankind. It is not our breathing of the air that in fact keeps us alive, it is only because God first breathed into us that we are even able to be living, breathing creations, a living being.

            Genesis 2 continues on to explain that God provides a place for humans to inhabit in the garden of Eden. However, God knows that the lone man is not good (v. 18), so he creates animals of the land and air, but "none proved to be the suitable partner for the man" (v. 20). It is not said explicitly here, but we can understand that it is God that makes this determination that the animals were not suitable partners. So God creates the woman as a partner for the man. My reason for this second paragraph is to show that it can be understood in Genesis 2 that God knows what humanity needs. Humanity is contingent on God for its existence, even for its most basic needs.

            Now that we have a base understanding of contingency in Genesis, I want to now write a little bit about Elijah in 1 Kings 18-19. In these two chapters, we see Elijah go from a triumphant high to rock bottom. This is powerful story, I believe, because it can be seen in our own lives today. In 1 Kings 19, we see Elijah hit a low in his earthly journey. After his triumph in chapter 18, Elijah's life is threatened by Jezebel, and he "was afraid and fled for his life, going to Beer-sheba of Judah" (19:3). From there he ventured on alone "a day's journey into the desert, until he came to a broom tree and sat beneath it. He prayed for death" (v. 4).Here we see Elijah is unsure of his safety because of the threats being made against his life by Jezebel. He has a very human reaction: fight of flight. He flees and leaves his servant to be alone. He appears to be in a such a state where he feels that he has no fight left in him.

            Before I move on, I want to touch on a psychological model of survival. According to Maslow's Hierarchy of needs, human beings cannot move along the hierarchy until basic needs have been met. At the very foundation of this hierarchy are the biological and physiological needs: food, water, sleep, air, shelter, warmth. The second level is safety needs. It is clear that Jezebel is threatening Elijah's safety, so he is thrown back to the basic level of needs. Elijah falls asleep underneath the broom tree and "an angel touched him and ordered him to get up and eat" (v. 5). The angel provided him with a hearth cake and water (v. 6). He feel back asleep, but the angel woke him up again saying, "Get up and eat, else the hourney will be too long for you!" (v. 7). I point this out because it seems that God knows what Elijah needs and therefore provides it for him, much like he did with the created man in Genesis. Human beings are completely contingent on God. Elijah could not continue on his journey because his basic biological and physiological needs were not met. It was not until he slept, ate, and drank that he was able to continue his journey.

            Once Elijah makes it to the mountain of Horeb, he is confronted by his call and  his mortality. "But the word of the LORD came to him, 'Why are here, Elijah?' He answered: "I have been most zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts, but the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to the sword. I alone am left, and they seek to take my life'" (v. 9-10). Here Elijah explains that he has been trying to answer and live out his call that he received from God. In doing so, he has put his life in jeopardy for now people want him dead. It seems as if he is drained. He is running on empty and he is not sure what to do now, how to proceed from this point. In this moment, he turns to the one thing that he trusts: the LORD. Without actually saying it, the passage is acknowledging the contingency of the human being. All of these situations are beyond Elijah's control. He has hit the bottom and he is unsure of what his future might hold.

            God does not leave Elijah to fight a battle that he cannot win on his own. Instead he says, "Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will be passing by" (11). Just from this statement the reader does not know what God has in mind for Elijah, but one thing is clear, God is going to reveal himself, or at least a glimpse of himself to Elijah. What follows is a striking description of power and might: "A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD—but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake—but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was fire—but the LORD was not in the fire" (v. 11-12). All of these powerful forces of nature make themselves known to Elijah, yet God is not within them. Following all of these extravagant illustrations of power comes "a tiny whispering sound" (v. 12). Elijah does not react to the wind, the earthquake, or the fire, but at the tiny sound of whispering, he hides his "face in his cloak" (v.13). Powerful and mighty as God is, he does not overwhelm. He meets his people where they are. This is the message that we can take from this particular passage. In terms of our contingency, when we hit rock bottom and are looking for signs of God's presence in our lives, we should not only look for major instances of power and might, but instead we should be willing to look to the small and comforting spaces where God is.

            We must trust in God to meet us where we are and provide for us. He met Elijah under the broom tree through his messenger providing food and water, and he met Elijah in the tiny whispering sound amidst the forces of nature. Both Genesis 2 and 1 Kings 18 show us that God knows what we need and will take care of us, we just need to trust in him. We should not be afraid of our contingency, but instead acknowledge it. And when we hit a bump in the road or rock bottom, we can approach God knowing he will ask, "Why are you here?" (v. 9,13) and we can have the strength to tell him and know that he will not fail us. This is how we come to terms with our contingency.

Comps!!!!

My comprehensive exams are coming up in about a week. I need to pass them in order to graduate from my theology program. I am excited to take them, but I am having trouble getting motivated to prepare for them. I was planning on spending my spring break preparing, studying and focusing solely on comps. But plans change and I had to come to Michigan and then go to Chicago and then to Milwaukee. Needless to say, studying has not been coming easily. However, those trips were totally worth it.

I got to go to Chicago to talk to the program director at Loyola Chicago and I had an interview at Marquette University, both for counseling programs. On the bright side, I was able to spend some terrific quality time with my mom and I was able to experience Chicago, which is one of my favorite cities, and I was able to visit somewhere new: Milwaukee.

View from the hotel rooftop in Chicago... not too shabby.

View from the rooftop of the hotel in Milwaukee: Hello Lake Michigan!